How to win friends and influence people

How to win friends and influence people

O knížce slyším furt dokola už od začátku studia, nějakým způsobem ji taky mám už 3 roky doma a dařilo se mi jí furt dokola odkládat. Mám takové tušení že jsem jedna z posledních z našeho týmu co tuto knihu nečetla… 

Taky mě překvapilo, že mnoho mých kamarádů knihu zná, dokonce ji považují za “Life changing”. 

Poznatky z knihy:

Don't complain

• People don't ever blame themselves for things, they blame others. 
• People don't comply with criticism, they just try to prove why they are correct. Instead explain their veiw is good but this is better

Appreciate

• Only way to make someone do things for you only is when they want to do it. People want to feel important. People want to feel important and appreciated

• People dont get motivated by criticism, they do by compliments :

"once I did bad and that I heard ever,

Twice I did good and that I heard never "

Arouse a Want

• Bait the hook to suit the fish, same with people
• Calmly, when changing someone's mind tell how what you want is actually what they want too and how it will benefit them (celkem manipulativní mi přišlo :dd)
• Make a connection between your want and the other person, arouse that want in them
• When we have good idea let other people cook up to think it's their and be more open to it

How to make people like you

• Make more friends by getting interested in other people, not get people interested in you (diskutabilní ale)

• First impressions : Smile at everyone always. Hold a thought so it transforms you every second of the day.

• Know people's first names, and always use them (s tímto mám hodně velký problém, většinou ani nemyslím na to, že bych si jména měla zapamatovat a tak je vypouštím při prvním okamžiku.

• Be a great listener

• Talk in terms of the other person's interests: Before meeting someone, read up on what they are interested in. (velmi se hodí před pohovorem či zákaznickou chůzkou)

How to win people to your way of thinking

• Show respect for other opinions, never say you're wrong - admitting you might be wrong also opens the other person to that idea. Slowly ask why it is and start adding your own points, without knocking his ego and self esteem. "reasoning" is finding reasons to believe in the same thing that we already do.

• If you're wrong, admit it emphatically - admit you're wrong to authority if you do something wrong FIRST without them saying it, give them importance. If you make a mistake, criticize yourself FIRST so he doesn't have to, take the fight out of him

• The socratic method - yes, yes, yes - start the interaction with them answering yes so there's momentum in that direction

• Think of the other person's point of view - be sympathetic to other people's opinion, consider it as if it was your own, think what would you want to hear if you were the listener

Be a leader

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation, Like a painkiller before an incision.

2. Call upon people's mistakes indirectly. Don't praise then say BUT, anything that come before that is bullshit, use AND instead

3. Talk about your OWN mistakes first, before criticism

4. Suggest an order, make it seem like they have a say in it. Ask questions not give orders

5. Let the other person save face. Don't get angry for mistakes, don't say anything to breaks people's ego

8. Make the fault seem easy to correct, If you tell them it's all wrong you destroy incentive to correct themselves!

Určitě jsem v částech knihy reflektovala na to, jak já sama jednám v těchto situacích a vůči lidem obecně. Ale nemyslím si, že bych se takto chtěla chovat například k mým kamarádům. Myšlenky mi často přišli velmi manipulativní a neupřímné. V čem se to ale hodí jsou zákaznické schůzky a pohovory. Určitě si nemyslím, že by tyto schůzky měly být neupřímné, ale nezahrnují tak hluboký vztah, který mám s kamarádama a lidma se kterýma se setkávám na denní bázi.