🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

1. Basic principles on how to deal with people.
2. Gaining control of a situation.
3. How to be liked by people - making good impressions

🎨 Impressions

Applying these principles can have massive impact on your life. It can help you succeed in life - 80% of people’s success is due to their ability to deal with people.

How I Discovered It

Many people recommended it.

Who Should Read It?

Almost everybody. If you have trouble in dealing with clients, colleagues or just your mates.

☘️ How the Book Changed Me

✍️ My Top 3 Quotes

📒 Summary + Notes

Fundamental techniques

• Don´t critisize, condemn or complain.
• Critique puts people in defensive mode. They can they ratiolize their actions. People learn better when rewarded for their good behaviour instead of punishing for their bad one.
• Hoover´s story of a plane tanked with a wrong fuel by a young mechanic. His response is suprising.
• It requires a good character to understand and forgive.
• Be genuine, make people feel important
• It´s a basic desire - to feel importrant. If you satisfy this need, you will instantly put people on your side. Just say "Thank you" and "I´m sorry" more. Find a small thing on people that you genuinely apreciate. Brighten people´s day with this.
• Give honest and sincere appreciation.
• Focus on and awaken people´s needs
• People care about and only about what they want. If you can just give them a taste in what they want, they will be listening and thanking you.
• Awaken in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you

• Be genuinely interested in other people.
• Again it makes then feel important.
• Ask them about what they are interested, about what they want.
• Smile.
• It´s simple. Smile is more than just a smile.
• Smile can come a long way. People like people that smile. Show them that you are glad that you see them of course with a smile.
• Our own name is the most important and sweetest sound in our life. Remember it and repeat it.
• It´s a welcoming compliment.
• Learn to remember it:

1. Make sure you catch the name the first moment it´s mentioned.
2. Request a repetition or even a spelling.
3. Repeat the name multiple times.
4. After the interaction, connect the name with something about the person.

• Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• People like to talk about their hard times if they got through them. Ask them about it. Show interest and admiration in them. They will happily talk about themselves and often don´t even realize it.
• Talk about what the other person is interested.
• Try to discover their interest´s before hand.
• There is one thing everybody is interested in - themselves.
• Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
• Genuinely compliment and praise people.

Win people to your way of thinking

• The best way to win an argument is to avoid it.

1. Cease your first reaction in a fight. Control your temper.
2. Promise them that you will think about it.
3. Try to find circles in which you agree.

• → You will lower the person´s defense this way.
• Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
• Doing otherwise will activate defense system in other person thus often make it worse.
• Remember that you need to make them feel important.
• If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Do not defend yourself. Make the other person defend yourself. Say that you know how bad the other person must have felt.
• People want to feel important and critisize. If you critisize yourself they will change their attitude into defending you. They just need to feel important.
• You can go as far as proposing your punishment. Most likely the other person will defend you and say that it wasn´t that bad.
• Begin in a friendly way.
• People don´t want to change thewir opinions. You can´t force them to. But you can lead them to it.
• A story of a tenant and land lord. He began in a friendly way and compliment him on how good he was running the house. He was so flattered that he openly lowered his rent to his request.
• Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
• If they say "no" they are drifting into a defensive mode.
• Try to get the "yes" on things you both agree on. Use logical question and normal tone.
• Ask complicated, unclear question. → You don´t want the other person see what you are doing otherwise it will feel like a trap.
• Phrase the question in a way that the person will say yes. Try to get as many yeses as possible. If they say yes to you they will unconciously agree with you.
• Let the other person talk mostly.
• Resist the urge to interrupt and listen to the person.
• Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
• Try to incept the idea in the other person´s mind. Suggest it directly or indirectly.
• If they will feel like they come up with the idea they will want to realize it.
• Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
• Focus on the other person´s problem. If you resolve their´s you might as well resovle yours.
• Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
• If we will sympathize with people they will feel understood and often then view things from our perspective.
• Appeal to the nobler motives.
• People act like that because of two reasons - one that sounds good and the other that´s true.
• If you don´t like how the person is behaving appeal on their moral principles - f.e. if a person is not holding the promise, say that you thought about him that he was honest.
• Dramatize your ideas.
• Catch your focus. Your reasoning must be live and interesting. Make the things more visual.
• F.e. if you want to give emphasis to a sum, present it in terms of a one Tesla. If you want to give emphasis to your work, present it in a cash.
• Throw down a challenge.
• If motivation isn´t working. Put up a challenge, a competition.